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Download being a stay-at-home mum, and you will find something that they are passionate about. How do I Find my Passion? The essence of living is ab...

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Get Passionate & Plug back into life ©Jackie Hall

This information is designed to provide advice and suggestions on the subject matter covered from the author’s personal perspective of being a mother and life coach. In no way is it designed to be a substitute for psychological, financial, legal, or any other professional advice. If expert assistance or counselling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

CONTENTS Get passionate & Plug into life - Intro............................................... Page

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What is Passion?................................................................................ Page

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The Power of Passion........................................................................ Page

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How do I find my passion.................................................................. Page

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Adding passion to your everyday life................................................ Page

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Being Passionate in that ‘Big, Bold, Spiritual way’.......................... Page

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Summary............................................................................................ Page

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Discover Passion & Plug back into life Passion is a rich, soulful emotion. Whether it makes you feel angry, excited, inspired or tearful, passion is something that moves you in a very powerful way. Passion is an internal experience not an external event. Finding your passion means connecting your head with your heart, engaging that part of yourself that "feels" in a big, bold, spiritual way. For many of us, this is a challenge. Our busy, chaotic lives disconnect us from our feelings. And, when we act from this "numbed out" place, it's impossible to connect with our passions (Source: “Lifestyle makeovers: How to Find your passion” by Cheryl Richardson)

Do you sometimes feel like your life just goes around and around in circles? Do you feel like you are in the movie ‘Groundhog Day’, where your life just keeps repeating itself over and over again? You are faced with another day of dirty nappies, piles of washing, feeding kids, cleaning up after kids, dishes, solving arguments and soothing babies, put the kids to bed, get half an hour to yourself before you hit the pillow, exhausted, then wake up and do it all again. It sometimes seems to go on and on and on. You begin to question – “What has my life become?” You know that you love your kids like crazy and you would never trade them for the world, but something inside of you has gone dormant, flat, uninspired. A light inside of you has dimmed and you find yourself feeling lost and bored with the daily momentum of your life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel however, and that light is, that it doesn’t have to be this way. All of the chores and things you do on a daily basis will always be there, but there is an essential ingredient missing from your life that you need to rediscover. This ingredient is PASSION.

Passion is the number one soul cleanser that you must implement into your life, especially during those early years of being a mother. Contrary to the typical behaviour of a mum, now is not the time to forget about yourself but to remember what it is that makes you feel inspired about your life. Now more than ever is the time to give back to yourself. This is a time in your life where you are giving a large part of yourself to somebody else, being your child or your children as the case may be. Often a mother’s intention is to be the best mother she can be. But how can you do this when you are feeling flat and uninterested in your daily life. When you feel like this, you do things half heartedly, you don’t change anything in your life and you become complacent about your daily events. A happy mum inspires and teaches happiness in your children. Setting goals drives you forward and shows your children that you move forward everyday and that one aspect of life does not define you (or them). We lead by example, be the driving force you want them to be. www.parentalstress.com.au

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This tutorial is about plugging back into your life and discovering what gets you energised, inspired, fired up, motivated, feeling good and loving life. This tutorial is more than just finding yourself, it’s about finding your spirit and your driving force that takes you from leading a good life, into leading an exceptional life.

What is Passion? A Definition of Passion • • • •

the emotions as distinguished from reason intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction love a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept an object of desire or deep interest (Source: Miriam Webster Online Dictionary)

As the above definition attempts to describe, passion is a strong emotion for someone or something that acts live a driving force inside you. It’s intangible, yet so strong. It’s almost like the electricity currents that run through the power lines. You can’t see electricity, yet it is the driving force behind producing light when you flick that switch. The light doesn’t work, if you don’t have the power running to that switch.

The same analogy can be used with passion in your life. How can you expect to have light in your life, if you have no electricity (passion) producing that light. You can’t because you can’t see. Your life is clouded by the darkness of boredom and monotony. In an article that I found online by Brian Norris – America’s Positivity Guru he describes what passion is perfectly: What is Passion? Passion is a gift of the spirit combined with the totality of all the experiences we've lived through. It endows each of us with the power to live and communicate with unbridled enthusiasm. Passion is most evident when the mind, body and spirit work together to create, develop and articulate or make manifest, our feelings, ideas and most sacred values. Passion enables us to overcome obstacles (both real and imagined) and to see the world as a place of infinite potential. The passionate spirit looks at every occurrence and discovers the golden kernels of what can be, what should be and what will be

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Passion has its own energy – an energy that’s observable and transferable. ........ Passion shapes our existence, fuels the fires of inspiration and makes the heart and mind open to changes all around us. It is food for the soul, a spark that reilluminates our purpose and mission for being here. Passion is yours to experience and revel in. And even if it causes you to scrape your knees or fall into that raging river called life, passion is your birthright. It is within you. It is yours to discover and master.

The Power of Passion Having passion in your life connects you to the source of who you are. Some people are comfortable calling this source God, some people call it inner self, holy spirit, Buddha, or many other labels, but aside of the word that you use, having passion gives you a connection to a power that otherwise lies dormant or quiet within you.

Sometimes you will find that this source, or inner you, has been trying to speak with you all along, but you have not been listening. As soon as you are connected with this source, your passion comes out in way that you never imagine, you feel guided to be going in a specific direction and you are naturally more intuitive. You find a self-confidence that you never knew you had, you take risks that you may never have taken before. It’s like you shed your coat of fear and worry, and just go for it.

When you turn towards a life with passion, you will see the world in different ways. You will begin to observe many passionate people, you judge less and feel inspired more. You find enjoyment in activities that you never did before although if you still don’t love those activities, you will find little or no resistance in doing those activities. You smile more, enjoy your kids more, interact with your partner differently. You turn on a light inside of you and you feel like a million bucks. Better than any manicure or hairstyle could ever give you. What you do when you open up your life to passion, is that you begin to really live. You let go of boredom and the need for stimulation, and your heart begins to soar.

When I discovered my passion, being my first website Self-help for Mums (now The Parental Stress Centre) and the creation of The Happy Mum Handbook, it’s like someone opened a floodgate in my mind. I suddenly had a strong purpose for living. I felt a surge of energy that wasn’t physical, yet it made me physically energetic. In the first few days of unleashing this passion, I was barely able to function, let alone carry a conversation. The creative ideas flowed through me from an unknown www.parentalstress.com.au

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place and I couldn’t write or type fast enough. Something deep inside me woke up, and I have never been the same again.

The power of passion is limitless. It can change your life in small and meaningful ways, or it can bundle you up and fly you in a direction you never thought was possible. It all depends on where you decide to take it. For example, you can find an interest that sparks passion within in you and makes you feel as if you now have something to look forward to, or you can find a purpose to your life that gives you a reason to get up every day and drives and pushes you to exceed your limitations and makes a huge difference to your life, and most often, someone else’s too.

Having children often opens doors for parents who have found their passion. I am testimony to that. Becoming a mother has opened up the opportunity for me to discover passion in my life, and I am also blessed that everything in my life to date has led me to be able to live this passion through these words that I share with you.

Other parents have found passion and purpose in their lives through other entrepreneurial ventures, such as cookbooks, writing books on specific behavioural issues or other issues pertaining to raising children, kid’s clothes, kid’s toys, convenient products for mums etc etc. When you begin to look, you can be incredibly inspired by the amount of people who have decided that monotony was not going to be a part of their daily life when becoming a parent.

When I also started to question my boredom and lack lustre for life, I started to observe what some of my peers were doing with themselves. Some of the other mothers I knew just didn’t seem to think that being at home was boring, and they were handling it quite well. When I began to observe them, I realised that they were living their passions, in one way or another. One friend of mine was an artist, and she had always lacked the time to paint and be creative, but when she had children, she found that she was given many opportunities to go outside and paint while the kids played, or she found many ways to incorporate her artistic talents around the house, or by playing with the children. She was connected to her source through her artistic abilities, and that gave her interest, excitement, a sense of achievement and the inspiration that the power of having a passion gives to you.

Another friend of mine lives on a 20acre farm, and that is her passion. She loves her house and her garden and her cows and this has flowed through her attitude towards staying at home with the children. Her philosophy that she once told me was, “You find out what it is you want to do, and www.parentalstress.com.au

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then you plot and scheme around your kids in order to do it.” And this is what she did as the kids grew up. This friend of mine was living her passion and it showed. I rarely see her bored or down on her life. If you are feeling bored in your own life, look around at other mothers who don’t seem to be feeling this way, and you can bet that they are doing something that ignites passion in their lives. They may be enjoying cooking more, or playing with the kids may ignite passion in itself, looking after the house may be enjoyable to them. Ask them and find out what it is that they are enjoying about being a stay-at-home mum, and you will find something that they are passionate about.

How do I Find my Passion? The essence of living is about being passionate about what you do. You can either do that on a small and personal scale, or you can do it in a big, bold life changing way that moves you in a different direction, but you need to start somewhere.

Sometimes you are lucky enough to stumble across a big passion that does change your life, but if you have absolutely no idea, then the place to start is by tuning your attention into looking for thing that you love to do. Chances are you may have given up on a lot of the things you like to do, because the kids came along, but look where that has gotten you. It’s time to start plugging back into life and adding exciting things into it.

Exercise One – Discovering what you are passionate about a)

Find a quiet spot and start by imagining some of things that you would like to experience in your life. What are you dreaming about when you are imagining a better life for yourself? Write down anything that pops up. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

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b)

Now answer each question, individually. 1. What are you interests and hobbies? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 2. What did you do for fun before you had children? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 3. What topic do you see on TV that you are instantly drawn to watch? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 4. What are you passionately opinionated about? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

5. What really riles you up that you may enter into debates about, or that you see articles or stories on that you have a strong belief about? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 6. Are there any causes or charities that you support or would like to support? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go, and why? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 8. If you didn’t have children, where would you be doing in your life right now? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ www.parentalstress.com.au

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9.

Are there any sports that you love, either doing or watching? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

10. Did you play any musical instruments when you were younger? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 11. What do you do in your spare time? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 12. Is there anything that you used to do regularly as a child that you thoroughly enjoyed? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

13. If you had all of the money in the world, what would you do with it? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 14. Is there something you have learnt over the years through experience, which has made you an expert on, or well educated about? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 15. What generally gives you enjoyment? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 16. Who do you know that’s doing something that you would like to do and describe how you would do it in detail? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ www.parentalstress.com.au

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______________________________________________________________ 17. How could you make the world a better place for yourself and for others? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 18. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

19. Imagine you are at the end of your life. What would you feel bitter about not doing in your life? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

20. What are you good at doing? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ c)

Consider your answers to the above questions: Are there any common themes among your answers? Write down any possibilities that you may have for your passion, and be as creative as you like. Don’t worry about what you can and can’t achieve at this point, just go mad with your imagination and let it go wild. ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________

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___________________________________________________________________ d.

Now that you have a list of some of the things that you may be passionate about, let’s take it one step further and think about what might be stopping you from doing something that’s passionate.

i)

Take your top 5 possible passions and list them here: Eg – Playing the piano again – I used to play when I was a kid and loved it.

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2.

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4.

______________________________________________________________

5.

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Take one of the items you have listed above and answer the following questions: My passion could be ___________________________________________________________________ ii)

For each of these items, detail what is stopping you from having this goal in your life. Eg Pianos are so expensive, I couldn’t possibly afford one. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

iii).

List something that you need to do, or something that needs to happen that will enable you to explore this passion. Eg – I need to buy a really cheap piano, or find someone who is giving one away ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

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iv)

What can you do today that will have you working towards actioning this passion. Eg – I can get online, or look in the paper for someone giving a piano away or selling it at a cheap price that I can afford ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

v).

Are there any other reasons that are stopping you from having this passion in your life and how can you overcome these reasons. Eg – a) even if I got a piano, I have no where to put it. I could buy an organ instead. At least until I make room for the piano, or move, at least that is still playing music. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

Knowing what your passion could be and knowing what your obstacles are to achieving that passion puts you in the right direction towards achieving it. The next step is to just start doing it. If you can’t actually do what you are passionate about today, then there are always steps that you can take today towards this passion that will inspire you about the end result and get you moving towards it. Other ways to discover your passion If the first exercise still has you stumped about how to find your passion, then here are some other tips to help you discover what they might be. •



Go searching around your home. Look at the books on your shelves that you have read. Find the items that you have bought recently and remember what your interest in them was. Try to find old memoirs of when you were a child, or observe decorations you have around your house. Get on the internet and do a search on hobbies and interests and see if you can see what other people are doing.

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I’m sure that by now you have some insight into something that you can implement back into your life that will at least give you some more enjoyment from your monotonous life and I strongly suggest that you begin doing these things, or making plans to do them today.

Adding Passion to your everyday Life Feeling passionate in the ‘big, bold, spiritual way’ that Cheryl Richardson describes in the opening to this tutorial may not be everyone’s path, or at least not in the immediate future. Adding passion into your life doesn’t have to be about any big project that is going to make a huge impact on the world. Starting out small and purely for your own pleasure is where the passion for life may need to start. If you are happy within, then it begins to radiate out, and you will be in a place where you can begin to inspire passion in others. But if you are feeling bored and unsatisfied with the momentum of your life, you need to find ways to turn that light on inside of you and start radiating that passion again. Once you begin to place your attention on finding passion in your life, you will begin to notice more and more of the things that inspire you and fulfil you, and you may well be on your way to creating something that you are hugely passionate about.

Other than beginning to add some of the things that you enjoy doing from the above exercises, here are other ways to begin adding passion into your everyday life.

Be Creative As with the story of my friend and her artistic abilities, being creative connects you to the source of who you are. If you have ever watched the reality TV shows ‘So you think you can dance’, or Australian/American Idol, then you would have observed how incredibly happy and inspired they are about what they do. Whether you are dancing, singing, acting, drawing, painting, writing or whatever your choice of expression is, you enter into a zone where you are connecting to a soulful part of you that moves you in a spiritual way. If you have never done any of these creative things before, then I urge you to simply give it a go. You will be amazed at the feeling you get of letting go and expressing yourself in a creative way. If you have ever been creative in this way before, then you should remember how it felt to express yourself and reconnect with yourself. I’m not talking about the horror time you may have been completely embarrassed at a high school performance, I am talking about the honest and relaxed performances or creativity that you experienced when you were on your own and free of judgements. These are the times that you would’ve felt the connection with your soul that I am talking about.

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Love Bring love back into your life. Let go of the judgements and resentments that you have in your heart that are holding you back from connecting to the power of passion and your soul. Really see your children next time you look at them and deliberately notice how much you love them and how adorable that they are. Bring the love and passion back into your relationship with your partner and heal any hurts that are between the two of you. Surround yourself with people that you adore and that you have fun with, they are the ones that will encourage you to chase your passions and live your dreams. Get rid of those out of your life that seem to bring you down and try to make your life unhappy. These are the people who will only send you further into monotony and unhappiness, for they have not yet learnt to find passion themselves. Finally, bring back the love and the respect for yourself. You are an exceptional being with thoughts, feelings, desires and dreams. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to find the passionate side of you. If you bring love back into every aspect of your life, it opens the gateway for you to discover what passion really is. Let Go of Judgements – Choose peace Judging people is a reflection of your own issues, like holding a mirror up to yourself as you speak the judgement. It is damaging to your soul and your ability to feel passionate. Take the conflicts out of your life and deliberately choose peace, even if that means walking away and looking like you were wrong about something, or by allowing someone else to be right. Conflicts and judgements eat away at your soul and drain your energies.

Let go of the Past The past does not exist until you create it in the present with your mind. What has been done, has been done and there is nothing you can do about it. Accept that reality and learn from your past experiences and move forward. Living passionately is a journey that you take, not a destination. In whatever you do, choose to let go of what has been and always move in the direction of what you are passionate about. Hanging onto past hurts is draining on your spirit.

Become an observer Look around at your present relationships and the people that you meet and discover what they are passionate about. There is nothing more inspiring than hearing about what makes people really tick. Because when you really get a feel for how passionate they are, the energy that they send out from feeling that conviction, will make you feel inspired and energised. Hearing about what makes people passionate inspires you to keep finding your own passion.

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Do what you love and love what you do I have a friend of mine named Steve and he has a very simple life that inspires me. He goes to work, he has three kids and has a moderate income with a mortgage. What inspires me about this? His attitude towards life. He is always excited about something that he is doing. He loves his motorbike riding and lives to ride. He loves to camp and gets incredibly excited about planned trips. Even if someone else is planning a camping trip, he is excited for them. He seems to love almost everything that he does, and if he doesn’t then he’ll find something positive to say about it. You have a choice – either do what you love, or decide to love what you do. Find aspects of it that you can love and appreciate and bring passion into your life by making the decision to find passion in all that you do. It’s all for a reason.

Take Chances Do something that you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Take a holiday on your own, or with some girlfriends. Take the kids to a retirement village and meet with an elderly person. Volunteer for a charity. Go deep sea diving. Participate in a personal development workshop, or listen to a motivational speech live. Sign up for a TAFE course, or university degree that you’ve always wanted to do.

Learn a musical instrument. Pushing yourself outside of the normal way that you

do things gives your spirit a sense of achievement and satisfaction. Aside of the fact that you will put an end to the boredom cycle you may have happening, you will learn about yourself and increase your self-esteem to create more challenging things, which may lead you to a major passion in your life.

Action your dreams today Don’t sit around waiting for the right conditions to happen so that you can start achieving your dreams. Start creating those right conditions for yourself. You are the creator of your life, and you can do anything that you put your mind to. Decide what it is that you want to do, and make a step in that direction today.

Be Grateful Being grateful is so important to your spiritual growth as a person because being grateful produces a feeling within you that is similar to passion, in fact it could even be described as being passionate. When you are truly grateful for things that are in your life, or for the material possessions you have, or the people in your life, then your attention is expanded in the direction of positivity. When you are feeling positive you can feel passion more easily.

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Get Inspired Surround yourself with things that inspire you. Have inspiring books nearby. Buy Inspiring magazines with articles of heroic or inspirational adventures. Watch inspiring movies. Do things that make you aware of that feeling that you get when you are amazed at what someone else has done. When you feel like this, you often feel incredibly driven and motivated to take on your own challenges and start achieving amazing and inspirational results yourself. You may find yourself saying, “I want to be like that, or I wish I could achieve that.” Take notice of these feelings and deliberately create more of them. These are the feelings that lead to actioning your passions in your life.

Being Passionate in that ‘Big, Bold, Spiritual Way’ Feeling the passion that I and others have described in this tutorial adds a new dimension to your life that lights up your soul and inspires you to live a happy life. While passion can be added to your life in smaller, simpler ways by implementing some of the suggestions above, you may like to discover your life’s purpose and discover something that will inspire you for a lifetime. Perhaps you are looking for that something that will feed you regularly on a daily basis that you can do for work, or as a regular hobby. When looking for a major passion, sometimes it may not be as simple as looking at your past, or thinking about what you enjoy doing.

Trying out these hobbies or pastimes may open up into opportunities for finding your life purpose, especially if you are deliberately searching for a life purpose. When you send your attention in the direction of looking for something, you usually find the answers everywhere you go, you just need to become deliberately aware of what you are looking at. Think of the last time you wanted to buy something, let’s say a specific car, like a Toyota Landcruiser. You all of a sudden become aware of all of the car sales yards that are around, how many people are driving land cruisers, what colours they come in. You seem to get more advertising in the mail about car yards, or see advertisements on TV about cars or car loans. What you have done, is opened your attention up to receiving information about Landcruisers and cars. The same can be done for your life purpose. If you are unsure of how to find your life passion, then just by opening up your awareness to receiving information that will help you discover it, will lead you in the direction you wish to go. Knowing what you enjoy doing, actually doing it, and implementing the suggestions outlined above are all actions that are in alignment with finding your life’s purpose. If you deliberately begin this journey with simple intention, then action, you will eventually find your passion.

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Life Passion can also be ignited by doing something different and experiencing something that challenges you. I once saw an Oprah episode about a man who was on a 6 figure income as an executive for Microsoft. He was very successful, but was caught up in the stress of work and was looking for more meaning in his life. He went trekking through the Himalayas for a soul-searching holiday and happened upon a small Nepalese school where the children had very little books. This made a profound impact on this man and he made a promise to the village that he would return to them with books for their school. This man went home, rallied up support and returned to that village with thousands of books bundled onto a yak. This experience that was outside of what he would normally do in his life, inspired him in such a way and created a profound passion within him to help others, that he gave up his executive job with Microsoft and now runs an organization called Room to Read that has donated more than 1.4 million books, established more than 3,600 libraries and 287 schools, and sent 2,336 girls to school on scholarship. This is an amazing achievement that was achieved purely on passion. You may not know what will give you the incredible feeling of being passionate in that ‘big, bold, spiritual way’ as Cheryl Richardson describes. But once you start to place your attention in the direction of finding your passion, you will already begin walking the steps to discovering what your passion will be, sometimes quite literally as was the case with the trekker from Microsoft. Stretching yourself past what you would normally do often sends your life in a different direction or teaches you more about who you are and what you want out of life, which can also lead to discovering your passion.

Summary Being passionate is a journey that you take. Plugging back into life is a choice that you make. You can decide to keep your ‘Groundhog day’ going, or you can decide to do something different. Make time for yourself to do something that excites and inspires you today. Motherhood is not just about raising happy kids it’s also about teaching them about quality of life and being an example of somebody that you desire for them to be. If you are passionate and excited about your life and have the energy and light within you that you get when you are feeling passionate, this will radiate out to your children and they have every chance of becoming passionate about their lives too.

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Just like you get inspired and energised by passionate people around you, you can also be the person who does the inspiring and energising, by discovering passion in your life. Start off small if you like, but add something into your life today that gives you a feeling of working towards something. Do the exercises in this tutorial that will highlight where your interests lie and take a leap into the unknown. Living a passionate life doesn’t have to be about having just one passion. You may have many passions in your life. You do not need to touch the lives of millions in a dramatic way to feel passion. You do not need to be displaying your passion on the outside either. The feeling that you get from being passionate will naturally exude out into the outside of you anyway and will subtly inspire others around you. But it must start within you, within your core of who you are. It’s time to let go of your safe roundabout called your life and begin stepping into the path of passion, purpose, happiness and personal fulfilment. “When you are inspired . . . dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” -

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PATANJALI

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